Happy New Year!

Hi There and Happy New Year!

I hope that however you decided to ring in new year, you enjoyed yourself and hopefully spent some time with the people who you love!  I went to a party at a friend's apartment which happens to be located just two blocks from my apartment (score!). We all got dolled up, and celebrated with champagne, food, and a little match of Apples to Apples.  It was the perfect low-key new years celebration. I don't know about you, but I am totally over trekking in the freezing cold to a packed bar, only to be herded like cattle and mashed into a space much too small for the number of party goers in attendance. Nevermind the crazy cover charge you pay  to stand in line and fight for one cocktail! No Thanks.

PJ and I at the partayyyy. Notice my red-eye; for some reason, I can correct the red-eye on my iphone-but when I upload to my computer- it doesn't stick! Grrr.

Some of my lovely friends!

My nail color!  Clearly I needed a mani judging by my chipped thumb.

Not my best photo ever, but PJ looks so handsome!

My dress for the evening. The two great things about this fabulous frock were that A)it cost 20 bucks (marked down from 50!), and B) it was SO comfortable. I paired it with a headband, and I felt like a flapper! Oh, and another thing- I have declared 2013 the year of the headband. I know I'm late to hop on this bandwagon, but I recently remembered how much I LOVE HEADBANDS.I had forgotten what a wonderful accessory they can be!

Headband. Rock it.

Alright. I have a new obsession people. A few months back I had a sushi lunch with a co-worker  in NYC. The restaurant served us green tea, but it had a completely different taste than any other green tea I've tried.  My co-worker happened to be asian, and he explained that it was brown rice green tea. I had forgotten about the tea until Monday when they served me this same tea at my nail salon! I asked my nail girl about it, and she said that it could be purchased at any Korean market. So today, I looked up local Korean markets and picked up 2 boxes. The nutty flavor of this tea is phenomenal;  I'm already on cup number two of the afternoon! Apparently, the antioxidants in the tea are thought to reduce the risk of cancer and cardiovascular disease.

A little bit about the brown rice tea:

This type of tea was originally drunk by poor Japanese, as the rice served as a filler and reduced the price of the tea; which is why it is also known as the "people's tea." It was also used by those persons fasting for religious purposes or who found themselves to be between meals for long periods of time. Today it is consumed by all segments of society.

Tea steeped from these tea leaves has a light yellow hue. Its flavor is mild and combines the fresh grassy flavor of green tea with the aroma of the roasted rice. Although this tea is based on green tea, the recommended way to brew this tea is different from that of green tea. To make best aroma, it is recommended to use boiled water with brewing time of 30 seconds.

 

Ok, I'm jumping from one subject to another now, so bear with me.  I had a horrendous day this past Sunday. I'm talking total emotional breakdown: tears, 6:30 am phone call to my parents, major unloading on PJ (hysterical crying) , sweatpants, and a Sex in the City marathon. I'm not going to get into the dirty details (they weren't really dirty, haha) of what spurred this complete meltdown, but I did want to just put out there that even though this is a happy go lucky blog, I have really terrible days just like everyone else. I actually have a pretty good number of hard days that leave me feeling hopeless and mentally exhausted.

My Dad mentioned to me on Sunday when we chatted that although he loves my blog, he notices that I never reference bad moods, difficult feelings, or crappy days. The desire to project a perfect "image" is something that I have always struggled with, and this rather obsessive and unattainable objective has forced me to be slightly closed off with regards to any conflict or struggle that may be occurring in my life. To be completely honest, this way of living at times makes me feel pretty isolated.  If I do something to disappoint someone, or I feel as though someone doesn't like me- I panic. The same reaction occurs if I encounter any friction with another individual. My parents say that I have been a people pleaser since I was little. Its one of my best qualities, and also one of my worst. I'm slowly learning and accepting (very slowly!) that I can't please everyone, and that not everyone is going to like me. I may piss someone off or disappoint someone, but that doesn't mean  I'm a horrible or worthless human being. I have a very small, but close-knit group of friends and family that know the "real" me, and I have other great friends that I may let down my guard with occasionally. Listen, I'm not striving to wear a t-shirt that reads "This is the shit I'm dealing with today!" , but in 2013 I'm striving to be more genuine and open. The truth is, I don't feel like being bubbly and perky all the time, even though I naturally am a pretty peppy person. Sometimes I'm tired or grumpy, and I just feel like being quiet-even if I'm with a group of people. However, my crazy perfectionist gets the best of me and forces me to put on the show so that I don't disappoint anyone else. It's not that I want to be a bump on a log, but I want to be more true to the way I actually feel- even if this means being a little more subdued and a little more exposed at times.

I'm going to give you an example of how I may glaze over things to make them seem effortless, simple, and pleasurable. In a post about 2 weeks ago, I stated that the holidays for me involved a lot of family, friends, and great food! The truth is, it did involve spending time with loved ones- but every family has their shit. This makes the holidays wonderful and really freakin' hard at the same time. I said that I enjoyed a lot of great food, and that I ate out and indulged quite a bit. In my post I said "whatever, it's the holidays, right?!". Guess what? "Whatever" was totally not how I felt about it. Although I savored every morsel of food and enjoyed  the conversation that I engaged in over the meal, I was really stressed out about the change in my eating and exercise routine. How would these temporary lifestyle alterations affect my body and my mood? Well, I'll tell you that my body didn't change, but all the negative self talk certainly affected my mood. The "I need to make up and repent for my indulgence" mentality completely stressed me out, and I became a total basket case. Now, I know it's highly common for people to reign in the food fest after the holidays, but beating yourself up and obsessing is not the way to go (I've learned this the hard way!). I'd be lying if I said that I didn't participate in my fair share of guilt and perhaps a dose of self loathing over the holidays. That may sound sad to many of you, but it's just the plain old truth. I'm happy to report I've regained my perspective, and I'm  feeling much more like myself.

This was kind of a tough blog for me to write, as I'm used to keeping it light and fun. I feel like this post was a baby step, but an important step, in practicing the act of being more open  I still intend to stay true to my  goofy and bubbly self here on the blog, but I'm going to try really hard to intersperse a little bit more of the good, the bad, and the ugly. I hope you all enjoy and can perhaps relate.

Alrighty roo. To close this one out, I'm going to leave you with a picture of  Toby , because he always (almost always!) makes me happy :)

XO

Sarah