Well, it's been a while!

Hi There!

So, ya... it's been a long time since we've talked! Life has been crazy busy (in an incredibly good way!), and truthfully, I haven't had any leftover brain cells with which to dedicate to bloggy stuff :)



So, when I say life had been crazy busy, basically I'm referring to all the wedding "things" that I had on my plate for the past few months! I'm happy to report that PJ and I tied the knot on September 13th, 2014! It was a truly beautiful (rainy) day- the most meaningful and special day of my life to date- and I can't wait to share more details with you in future posts! I was blessed to find the most amazing vendors (and husband and family!) who made every detail of the big day just perfect :) If you want to check out some of our wedding photos, you can take a look at my photographer's blog to see some of her faves!

http://www.sherrysuttonblog.com/sarahpj-liberty-science-center-wedding/

Our wedding was followed by a luxurious honeymoon week in the Dominican Republic which we spent lounging, eating, swimming, smooching dolphins and sea lions, sipping pina coladas, and getting massages. It was magical. I wonder if my company has any openings as a professional lounger available in the DR... hmmm. I'll have to look into it. I was REALLY good at the whole relaxation thing.



Now, I'm back to real life for the most part. I gotta say, as much as I loved the excitement surrounding the wedding and all of the fun events leading up to the big day, there is something comforting about slipping back into my routine.

Leaving the DR...Wahhh

Along with the mental shift that has come with really and truly understanding what it means to be married, I have undergone some personal thought transitions over the past couple of months as well. Let's just get right into it, shall we?

For the majority of my adolescent/adult life, I have viewed myself as a broken bird. I thought (and certainly at times, still think!) that I needed to be fixed, altered, corrected, or "worked on". I have felt like everyone else had something figured out that I just didn't, and I simply needed to work harder on myself to find that thing that would make me less broken. For me, I have always taken to "fixing" or "filling" myself by focusing on my physical appearance. As I have stated in previous posts, my need to repair myself (like many women and men out there!) resulted in a major battle with body image that has lasted more years than I care to count. Over the years, my body has taken a major beating. It's been starved, and stuffed, and deprived, and berated. It has been praised for being thin, and ridiculed for being more shapely. While there have certainly been unwarranted comments from the outside world, the real abuse has come from the person my body trusts most in this world- ME.  Over the past few months, the thought started to form in my mind that something about the plan of "attack" that I had been enacting all of these years was not working. Perhaps, my perceived failed attempts had something to do with the ummm... attack? What if there was actually nothing wrong with me at all? What if the way my physical body looked was a completely bullshit measurement of my completeness? What if I didn't have to consider whether other people thought I was too big, too small, too curvy, too loud, to chatty, too inquisitive? What if I was whole, and complete, and perfect just as I was?

You see, I have been keeping myself stuck by labeling myself as broken which implies that something needs to be fixed before things can move forward. Guess what, I'm just simply not willing to believe that I have to stand at the starting line fidgetting and adjusting anymore, waiting for that moment when I am perfectly ready to run. I certainly don't regret my past experiences, but I am committed to turning the page with the belief that I am whole right now.

Word.

So, I'm throwing out a challenge here. Whether there is one person reading this post, or a 1000,  I want *you* to call bullshit on this whole idea that you need to "fix" yourself. The media and our society keep us stuck and sell us things by making us feel like we are broken.They capitalize on our biggest universal fears- rejection and disconnection. Dude, get mad about this manipulation and choose to do something different than the masses in response.

This is what it's all about.

Re-framing the way we view ourselves is not easy. It takes work and time- but feeling like shit takes the same if not more work and time. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to post about some things that I am doing differently to ensure that I live each day remembering: I am not broken.

Hugs and Kisses,

Sarah