The Beauty Myth

Hi There!

How's everyone doing? Things over in my neck of the woods are pretty good. The week started off  busy, and I really can't believe it's already Wednesday.



On Monday, I drove to upstate New York for work. As much as I wasn't excited about the three hour drive each way, the beautiful foliage (and lunch box full of snackies!) made the trek a complete pleasure if you can believe it. It was so nice to escape the city and simply take in some beautiful scenery and breathe in the crisp fall air.

In other news ,I'm super psyched about this new hat I picked up from Targ-et! It makes me feel kind of badass... I don't know why, it just does :)

So, speaking of badass, in my last post, I told y'all (I'm sorry, I love saying y'all) that in the coming weeks, I would be sharing some of the ways that I am calling bullshit on this idea that I (or you!!!) somehow need "fixing". We are faced with a gazillion messages everyday telling us that we need to change the way we look, or eat, or talk, or exist. Messages that tell us we need to simply be better than we are. Often times, these "messages" are connected to some sort of unfounded plan that promises us a pathway to perfection where we will finally be good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough. Unfortunately, we are being totally set up. Why? Because the media ensures that there is no end to this arduous road to flawlessness, As much as we would like to think we know the media is taking us for a ride, most of us (both male and female) without question jump on the train. Even just for today, let's consider letting that train pull out of the station.

1. Get Educated

Knowledge is power, people. So many of us (ehhem, ME) take what we hear on the news, in the media, or from other people as the ultimate truth. We don't question it or consider that their truth might be different than ours, or that this truth may be a way to keep us stuck so that we can't compete.

So, I am currently re-reading The Beauty Myth, by Naomi Wolf. This masterpiece is completely life changing, and I HIGHLY recommend that any woman (or man) out there reading this post go get this book RIGHT NOW. I actually purchased  The Beauty Myth my freshman year of college as a requirement for a women's studies class that I was taking. I loved the class, but I didn't really read the book. I kind of skimmed some of it, liked some of the ideas, but I didn't really take it much further than that.  Well, I picked this book back up last week, and I couldn't have anticipated the way that my whole world would be flipped upside down. For the first time, I am questioning EVERY beauty ideal that I have for so long enslaved myself with trying to achieve. The Beauty Myth covers the ways in which women have been strategically trapped- both mentally and physically- since the beginning of time. My gosh, you want to talk eye opening? After reading this book, I simply can't subject myself to the torturous thoughts that I have been acting upon all these years. I actually teared up (in anger) yesterday while reading a section of this book. If you are a lady, and you want to know why you always think that there is something wrong with you, READ THIS BOOK. It's not your fault, there is NOTHING wrong with you, and it's no wonder so many women feel like crap about themselves. Some quotes from the book below to give you an idea of just how powerful this book is.

Now, I like to immerse myself in things. It's just my style. While I can't sit around all day reading this book because of that thing called work and life, I have found a way to do both. I do have my own copy of The Beauty Myth, but this time I downloaded it via itunes, and I listen to it while I drive around all day. If you haven't listened to a book on tape, it's a great way to keep your mind stimulated (and not obsessing!).

So for today, I am asking you to get educated. Don't mindlessly follow the masses or what the media is telling you is the path to fulfillment and general awesomeness. Also, remember that these messages from the media and our society trickle down. While I love reading blogs and find many of them to be truly inspiring, I have to remind myself that many of the recommendations that these bloggers promote result from their following of these "messages" that they too are receiving on a constant basis. Just a little food for thought...

Have a beautiful day.

Love and Hugs :)

XO

Sarah

Well, it's been a while!

Hi There!

So, ya... it's been a long time since we've talked! Life has been crazy busy (in an incredibly good way!), and truthfully, I haven't had any leftover brain cells with which to dedicate to bloggy stuff :)



So, when I say life had been crazy busy, basically I'm referring to all the wedding "things" that I had on my plate for the past few months! I'm happy to report that PJ and I tied the knot on September 13th, 2014! It was a truly beautiful (rainy) day- the most meaningful and special day of my life to date- and I can't wait to share more details with you in future posts! I was blessed to find the most amazing vendors (and husband and family!) who made every detail of the big day just perfect :) If you want to check out some of our wedding photos, you can take a look at my photographer's blog to see some of her faves!

http://www.sherrysuttonblog.com/sarahpj-liberty-science-center-wedding/

Our wedding was followed by a luxurious honeymoon week in the Dominican Republic which we spent lounging, eating, swimming, smooching dolphins and sea lions, sipping pina coladas, and getting massages. It was magical. I wonder if my company has any openings as a professional lounger available in the DR... hmmm. I'll have to look into it. I was REALLY good at the whole relaxation thing.



Now, I'm back to real life for the most part. I gotta say, as much as I loved the excitement surrounding the wedding and all of the fun events leading up to the big day, there is something comforting about slipping back into my routine.

Leaving the DR...Wahhh

Along with the mental shift that has come with really and truly understanding what it means to be married, I have undergone some personal thought transitions over the past couple of months as well. Let's just get right into it, shall we?

For the majority of my adolescent/adult life, I have viewed myself as a broken bird. I thought (and certainly at times, still think!) that I needed to be fixed, altered, corrected, or "worked on". I have felt like everyone else had something figured out that I just didn't, and I simply needed to work harder on myself to find that thing that would make me less broken. For me, I have always taken to "fixing" or "filling" myself by focusing on my physical appearance. As I have stated in previous posts, my need to repair myself (like many women and men out there!) resulted in a major battle with body image that has lasted more years than I care to count. Over the years, my body has taken a major beating. It's been starved, and stuffed, and deprived, and berated. It has been praised for being thin, and ridiculed for being more shapely. While there have certainly been unwarranted comments from the outside world, the real abuse has come from the person my body trusts most in this world- ME.  Over the past few months, the thought started to form in my mind that something about the plan of "attack" that I had been enacting all of these years was not working. Perhaps, my perceived failed attempts had something to do with the ummm... attack? What if there was actually nothing wrong with me at all? What if the way my physical body looked was a completely bullshit measurement of my completeness? What if I didn't have to consider whether other people thought I was too big, too small, too curvy, too loud, to chatty, too inquisitive? What if I was whole, and complete, and perfect just as I was?

You see, I have been keeping myself stuck by labeling myself as broken which implies that something needs to be fixed before things can move forward. Guess what, I'm just simply not willing to believe that I have to stand at the starting line fidgetting and adjusting anymore, waiting for that moment when I am perfectly ready to run. I certainly don't regret my past experiences, but I am committed to turning the page with the belief that I am whole right now.

Word.

So, I'm throwing out a challenge here. Whether there is one person reading this post, or a 1000,  I want *you* to call bullshit on this whole idea that you need to "fix" yourself. The media and our society keep us stuck and sell us things by making us feel like we are broken.They capitalize on our biggest universal fears- rejection and disconnection. Dude, get mad about this manipulation and choose to do something different than the masses in response.

This is what it's all about.

Re-framing the way we view ourselves is not easy. It takes work and time- but feeling like shit takes the same if not more work and time. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to post about some things that I am doing differently to ensure that I live each day remembering: I am not broken.

Hugs and Kisses,

Sarah