Hey There!
I tried to pop in yesterday as promised, but unfortunately it just didn't happen! It's been a crazy week with weather, work, and travel.
I thoroughly enjoyed having a quiet night at home complete with my jammies and a home made noodle bowl for dinner.
A hot cuppa tea...
And hanging out with these two...
I also squeezed in a lovely yoga practice last night which felt quite delicious after a few hectic days. Isn't it awesome how our love and appreciation for something totally blossoms when we take just a little time away from it?
I had a couple of thoughts on what I wanted to discuss in this post, and while both ideas seem to warrant a discussion, I'm going to have to choose. There is always tomorrow to make another choice, right?
If you're someone who has been reading my blog for a while now (many thanks and hugs!), you may have picked up on the fact that I have a lot of thoughts on how for many of us, we let our body image tie directly into our self worth. While I think that the media and our society in general encourage this unhealthy relationship between our bodies and our worth, I do believe that we as men and women have the ability to change this conversation if even just a little bit.
In a society driven by materialism, aesthetics, and excess, I think it's completely obvious as to why many of us have fallen down the rabbit hole of defining ourselves by what is on the outside. While I am so greatful for the world that I live in, I also believe that to stay sane, healthy, and truly happy, it 's critical that we remind ourselves that our body really is just our "earth suit". Yes, I did just say earth suit. Stay with me...
photocredit: teafly.com
I can't remember specifically where I heard the term "earth suit", but I recall reading an article once where the author described her physical body as her earth suit. These two little words were a total game changer for me. I mean, think about it. YOU are not actually your body. You are everything inside. Your body does for your soul what clothing does for our physical bod; both make sure we aren't freezing our asses off and totally naked. Both "suits" give us the opportunity to slowly remove layers based on how we are feeling physically and emotionally.. hubba, hubba, jk! :) For example, I can choose clothing to express my current mood or state of mind, but I am not my clothing, am I? I have made some fairly questionable fashion choices in the past, so I would hope I am not my clothing( can we say leg warmers and stilettos... in 2005!?). I have also made some risque choices with my "earth suit", but do those changes and choices define me? I would have to say, no. My earth suit , much like my fashion choices, does not always look exactly the same. I can take care of my earth suit and make sure I keep it clean (hahah most of the time), nourished, and strong, but I'm not my earth suit.
Clearly, from a young age I took fashion risks:) Crayon bucket as a hat? Yes please.
I was channeling Carrie Bradshaw before there was even Carrie Bradshaw.. can you say fashion forward?
ANYWAYS...In the past few months, I have been taking notice of the way women comment on each others bodies. While I do try to be mindful of making any comments regarding another persons body shape or size, I am certainly guilty of making the occasional weight based comment. We are all human, and in a society that puts diet, exercise, and achieving a slender physique on a pedestel, it's no wonder that we're conditioned to look at these activities as measures of greatness.
With that said, I'm going to be ballsy and opinionated say that there is virtually no comment that one can make regarding another's body that is ever taken as just a compliment. Body comments promote insecurity. Some of you may disagree, but I think generally the receiver of the "comment" is not just thinking about how their body looks now, but also what your comment means regarding how their bod looked before or how it might look after. If you comment positively on someone looking slender, they may think, "hey, that's great, but what does that mean about how I looked before?". Did I look porky and not know it? Why is is good that I look slender? Is it less than ideal that I had a little extra cushin' for the pushin'? Am I a more respectable person because I now look thinner?
That person may start to feel that if they don't receive positive commentary on their body after they receive the initial comment that something is wrong , and that slender is what they need to achieve to receive positive feedback. I know this may sound over analytical, and I am certainly not speaking for every person on the planet. I am just offering up some thoughts on what I personally have noticed and concluded based on my observations.
So how else can we compliment someone or make a statement regarding an observation we have made about their physical appearance? I'll share some of the compliments that people have paid me that have made me feel absolutely wonderful, but had nothing to do with the size of my body.
"You look alive"
"You are glowing"
"You look happy"
"You look beautiful as always"
Sure these comments may be about physical appearance, but they are also a reflection of what is going on underneath my earth suit. Get where I'm going? I challenge you to think about some of these other ways of describing someone's appearance, and perhaps give one of these bad boys a go next time you think someone is looking particularly slammin'.
I highly encourage you to check out the What I be project for a super cool expression of how not to be defined by your body or past experiences. The heart of this project is rooted in building security through sharing insecurities.
Here is one photo from their body image series.
Alright, that was a lot. I hope you have a lovely weekend. I'll be back tomorrow with a bit less heavy material.
Something to think about:
-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
xo
Sarah
